I’d like to be able to say that I passed the weekend without thinking about P at all. Or even better that he contacted me and I told him we were done. But neither of those things happened. However, I didn’t excessively mope. We had a really nice family weekend. Of course I thought about him, but I wasn’t too upset. It didn’t affect my time with Hubby.
On Saturday I decided to make homemade pizza, my son’s favourite. I don’t always do a homemade crust, but decided to thinking that kneading and pounding the dough might help me exercise some anger, but I found I had none. I was in the kitchen and I could hear Hubby and my little one playing and laughing, sounding so happy; and I realised that I was happy too.
Even if I go back to being monogamous, I’m happy with my family. And if I never sleep with a different man again? Well, Hubby’s great in bed and lately does a good job of making me feel desirable, so I think that I could be okay with that. Maybe I need to pay more attention to Hubby’s opinion.
Especially, when he slapped my ass this morning; I love it when he’s all gropey and notices me when I’m not fully dressed. I was in panties and a sweater and he made some comment about how sexy I looked. It was a great way to start the day.
My attempt at a positive attitude seems to be paying off because I’ve got a date tonight! The single guy (I’ll call him SG) I’ve been talking to suggested we get together for coffee this evening. It will actually be our first time meeting. I met him online and we’ve been chatting for quite awhile. I was wondering if he was ever going to suggest getting together, but I was patient because he was dealing with a move and some other life changes. He knows my situation with Hubby and he’s said that he’s not looking for anything beyond a FWB. But we never talk about sex. We talk about life. So right now he is definitely just a friend.
I really like the fact that he’s single. Someone asked if I prefer married men, and the answer is an unequivocal ‘no’. It’s just that I seem to have met and become interested in married men. Also, I feel like most single guys want someone with more time and flexible availability than I have to give. I prefer not to be sleeping with somebody’s husband, but that’s just the way it’s turned out so far.
This makes SG seem ideal, he’s single (therefore we can get together at his place), doesn’t want anything serious, and is okay with my situation. The problem: I’m not sure if I’m attracted to him and even worse I think that he might be boring. Our emails haven’t been boring per se, but they haven’t been exciting either. Definitely a nice guy I’d like to be friends with, but not sure if I want to fuck him. I don’t get excited overtime I see an email from him, and I’m not nervous about tonight.
However, I am unsure about tonight because I don’t know what he is expecting… We haven’t been talking about sex, but I think he’s interested, so far. Although, I supposed that could change upon meeting me. Is coffee just coffee? The place we’re going to is right next to his place, so it would be quite easy to go back there… But do I want to? At least I know Hubby will be up for sex tonight, so whatever happens I’ll have so me fun tonight!
I must admit, part of me feels like fucking someone new will help rid me of P.
I guess he is still in the back of my mind. Maybe more than I let myself believe.