Crap – Advice Needed!

~ silver star

SG emailed.  I think he was on a different date last night, because he asked me out again. He suggested drinks and karaoke on Friday night.  I don’t think he wants to be just friends…

Did I mention that he and P live in the same area?  Quite a coincidence given I live in a fairly large city.  The bar he wants to go to is P’s regular place, we’ve had drinks there.  There is no way I can go in this date.  I’m not interested and I’ll just be thinking about P or worse yet – afraid I’ll see him!!

But I don’t know how to say no to guys.  I just feel too bad.  I can’t ignore this email all day…

I could say I’m busy, but won’t that just lead to him suggesting going out another night?

How do I get out of this?

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

11 thoughts on “Crap – Advice Needed!”

      1. Just not feeling it with this one? I’d just say that it’s not going to work out. Be up front and honest. I’d rather that if it were me in that situation. I hate when people ghost. It’s the worst.

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      4. I’ve got a draft written – he doesn’t know the details about P, but knows there was a complicated situation with a FWB. I said that I wasn’t over that situation so it wasn’t a good idea for me to get involved with someone else right now. I’m being truthful, but it’s not necessary to say I’m not attracted to him.

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  2. I would just say (and have to past dates), that “you are a really great guy but I just didn’t feel the connection and chemistry that I am looking for”. It’s honest and shouldn’t hurt his feelings as chemistry doesn’t happen with everyone and isn’t something anyone should sacrifice.

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    1. Honesty is probably the best way to go. I just know that if I heard that I’d still feel a little hurt. I wish that I could ensure he doesn’t, but I suppose that’s impossible.

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  3. Yes, upfront and honest. Use your words and TELL him: you like him, you’re glad you two met, you wish him well, but you’re not interested in him romantically. Be kind, but direct, definite, and FIRM. Don’t let discomfort with potential awkwardness keep you from doing the right, ADULT thing. You deserve the right to say no and he deserves to know exactly where he stands.

    Good luck; you can do it!!

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  4. Looks like you got great advice! I agree with doing the adult thing and giving an honest ‘no’. All the same, I will say this, I’ve heard that some guys will continue to pester and not take the hint, so don’t be surprised if you get a childish response (I think this is why ghosting is so popular). But, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take the high road. I really appreciate it when a girl outright rejects me rather than just ghosts me, ghosting hurts more to be honest.

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