My date last night was disappointing. It was actually terrible. There was no chemistry, no spark at all. In fact, I was very turned off by him. I could detail why, but it doesn’t really matter. The point is I won’t be seeing him again and as I said to Hubby, I hope he just doesn’t email me again.
Speaking of Hubby, I got home early than expected and found him laying on the couch. He had a migraine and thought he was coming down with something. Sex was the furthest thing from his mind. So, last night was a bust all-round.
I’ve been thinking more about P; not moping, but honestly thinking about he situation. I sometimes tend to obsessively think about things and over analyse. I don’t want to do that with him because I’ll just get upset. I’ve decided to take what he says at face value: when he cancelled but insisted he still cared and was interested; when he said that he had to work; when he said that he was feeling guilty; all of it I’ll accept as truth. That means there is nothing to think about or analyse.
The only thing I won’t believe is when he says he loves me. He’s only said it a few time and never sober. My response has always been “No you don’t, you’re just drunk!” and I’m quite sure that is the truth.
I don’t know if he’ll get in touch with me again; this could be the end. If it is I’ll be hurt that he didn’t care enough to grant me some closure, but there’s nothing I can do about that. If he does get in touch and doesn’t want it to be over, we will have to have a conversation about expectations. I don’t want anything serious, just light and fun, but he still has to be more careful with my feelings.