You Can’t Go Back

After my last post I was happy to have gotten my goodbye.  I thought that things were done, but then he wrote again.  And before I knew it we were talking again.  Every day.

J saying that he missed me opened something up in me, let me feel more.  But now I’m wondering if that’s a mistake, especially since the last week we’ve had virtually no contact. I know he’s busy, but I also know that if I mattered he would make an effort.

I don’t know where I stand.  I’m angry, I’m hurt, but I’m also aware that he owes me nothing – no promises were made.

How did this get so complicated?

Why do I miss him more now than I ever did before?


2 thoughts on “You Can’t Go Back

  1. Promise of hope. It’s how I felt about Y decades ago. Just as soon as I thought I was over him he’d waltz back into my life. It’s 17 years this year. Now we are just friends . I don’t hold any attraction for him anymore. Part of me wonders why I fell so hard in the first place?


  2. The man I’m in love with, is currently laying in bed beside his wife, 4 floors below me. In the hotel room he fucked me in 3 nights ago. He’s been distant and almost cold to me. Wife didn’t show up until today. But yet, if he sent a text to me right now, I’d get wet and almost weep from the amount of love I have for him. I’m not sure it would diminish my desire to choke the shit out of him right now.

    Liked by 1 person

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