The Choices We Make

I said this blog was to figure out what I’m doing with my open marriage – how it works, what I want, etc.,  but so far all I’ve really done is enumerate the men in my life who aren’t Hubby.  I’ve avoided the question of what I want, or at least only paid it cursory attention.  To be quite honest, I think that I might be failing at this open marriage.

When I say failing, I mean that I don’t do it the way Hubby does, it isn’t just casual sex now and again.  I fall for guys, get caught up in the emotional side, and I’m currently not having any actual extra-marital sex.  That’s right, I have a good marriage and permission to play, but  I don’t seem to be really taking advantage of it…

Why?

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5 thoughts on “The Choices We Make

    1. Ah yes, the lure of the forbidden! J is heavily into taboos in sex. P finds himself far more attracted to married women than single ones. Is it the same for me? I’m not sure. While I think that I am attracted to that which I should not have, I also have a great deal of guilt. I’m not sure if I could ever go through with a real physical affair and deceive Hubby. That being said I do seem to wind up with married men and I’m not sure why… Maybe they are looking for the same thing that I am, while a single guy wants more of a relationship? Maybe it is because they are forbidden?
      In my situation there is also the factor that I’m not just allowed to be with others, it is an active turn on for Hubby. So by fucking married men I am engaging in the forbidden and turning on my husband… Shouldn’t that be a win-win?

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      1. I find married men are more considerate . Though some are a bit too kinky. They want something different from their relationship.
        Problem is trying to find somewhere to meet.
        Single men are easier as there’s always their place to meet though sometimes they cling instead of finding a relationship for themselves .
        Can never get the right mix. It feels like you’d need 3-4 guys to just meet all the criteria.

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  1. Maybe because you truly love being with your husband so these other men that you we with can’t compare. I also agree with the comment above. When it’s forbidden it feels more thrilling but when it’s out in the open the thrill is gone.

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    1. That’s an interesting idea, but I’m not sure if it fits in my situation. I DO truly love my husband, of that there is no doubt, and I love being with him. For us sex can be making love, hard and fast, or anywhere in between. But, for me, love isn’t essential to sex. I like the idea that sex can just be fun. So far, the experiences I’ve had with other men haven’t felt like they were lacking and I haven’t found myself comparing anyone to Hubby (as surprising as that may sound).
      Perhaps there is some truth in what you say if I’m not really cut out for an open marriage, maybe I’m meant for monogamy? That’s a thought in the back of my head, I can’t quite explain it, but I suppose that can be said of many of my thoughts! It’s definitely something I need to explore. Thanks for your comment Mua, it has given something to think about and I’ll likely write more at some point.

      Liked by 1 person

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